oh I'm so happy! Even despite i know that punishments await me, I'm happy: I am allowed to wear my Mistress' collar again, feel Her presence with me, Her care. Thank you very very much, Mistress!
The night before yesterday Onyx made me come online. I was so glad she made it to SL despite being not at home, and despite she has to pay for online time.
I showed her the church i built, and got tips how she would like it more. I hope she will like it once its finished.
After she logged off for the night (and i couldn't sleep despite i had a half bottle of wine) i invited my friend Mortal to show him/her (a RL man with a female avatar - but he always states that he is a male who just does "prefer to see a beautiful avi over a male one") the church and my little shop. He showed me some mistakes i made (flickering borders between prims, or not matching textures) but in general he was impressed, knowing that i began building much later than he did. I really appreciate his judgement, since he is a very talented and much-demanded builder.
Last night, Master Thorin logged in to speak with Mistress. Suddenly He asked me where i did get the money from to pay the fees for the land - and i said Misty lent it to me. He said okay, and then went forward with His thing on SL. I chewed on my nails watching Him from the kitchen, hoping He wouldn't intervene - i wanted my Mistress to decide on Her own, not by intervention by those who love me: I thought intervention would just make it worse and let Her decide to let me leave for good and never take me back.
After a while He logged off and just stated, "You will wait at least one hour after I left the house before you log in." Then he prepared for leaving to go to His nightshift job.
I was like "huh?" but I obeyed. I thought He might have a reason for having me wait. And when He checks the logs He will see anyway when i log in and off.
After a little more than one hour, i finally logged in. And short after i greeted my Mistress and began to write another message to beg her, i got a tp invite: Mistress invited me to House of V and said i should kneel at Her side, then She told me in IM to put the collar back on.
GOSH I cried of joy when i saw the message!
While i danced for Her per Her wish, She told me there will be hard punishment. I thanked Her even for that message. Yes there will be a punishment, and it will be deserved.
And maybe it even will be hard for Onyx to see me punished - but everything, any punishment my Mistress will choose in Her knowledge about me, will be much less hurting than being abandoned. Even if it reaches or even expands my limits.
Dear Mistress, i love you and thank you very much for having taken me back. And Onyx, i love you too and thank you for having comforted me so much.