I couldn't tell my fiancee of what has happened - and until now He doesn't know about this blog yet. Still He is wondering what bothers me right now. But i couldn't tell Him...
It just hurts too much, i couldn't log into SL today. My shame and guilt is bigger than my addiction to SL.
I do hope though that (my) Mistress understands that i stayed off-line.
Just as i was distracting my mind writing, i got an off-line message of the woman i had talked with: she offered to intervene on my behalf.
I wasn't able to even react, my mind was drawn back to my devastating mistake, and my first reaction was that i just moved the mail into the junk folder.
I really do hope She doesn't or already didn't try to intervene, it would make everything worse. Though - what is worse than being abandoned by one's beloved Mistress? Abandoned by the center of one's universe? No i really couldn't go on-line today. :(